Friday, 6 May 2011

Just a minute in...May

My nephew Micah. I baby sat him for a few hours today :) He's such a sweetheart.

Just a Minute in May....

Looking... forward to the Mothers Day service at my church this Sunday. The Pastor's wife and their daughter will be doing a special Mothers Day/Women's message. Sure to be inspiring.

Planning... swaps and details for the snail mail group.

Thinking... about doing some work experience to help with my job searching.

Deciding... to stop constantly comparing myself to other people. It's pointless and it just brings me down.

Admiring... The beauty all around us. I've been captivated by the amount of stars that you can see in the country and the wonder of clouds.

Reminiscing... by listening to old music and remembering the memories associated with them. It brought me back to those times (good and sad).

Loving... Masterchef. I enjoy seeing what the contestants come up with. Plus it makes me adore food even more, especially the desserts.

Wanting... to take some creative classes to get me out of this slump I feel like I'm in.

I know that I'm going through major changes in my life right now and just trying to figure out what it is I'm doing with my life? There have been lots of tears, thinking and praying. I think I know what I want to do, I just have to do it. I need to stop being so critical of myself and comparing myself with other people. I don't know why I do it. And listening to the old music brought back certain memories. Both good and bad. I remember feeling happy but I also remember feeling a little worthless about myself. I think it's the old struggles and the occasional low self esteem I felt. I was good at hiding that part though and always looked happy.

I think this is one of the reasons why I was so big on journalling. I needed to let out my emotions some ways. I remember there were some days when I would lie on my bed and listen to sad music and just think (it's kind of emo really, never thought about it that way) but people thought I was this happy happy person and I know I was, but I had my days.

So, that post completely came out of nowhere and it's completely scattered. I don't usually get too personal on here but there are times when it just comes out :)


:: Lavender's Green :: said...

I know exactly how you're feeling. Lately I've been thinking about what I do on a daily basis and if it's something I want to do for the rest of my life. Simple answer is - no, it's not. But that leads to more questions - what do I really want to do? Am I brave enough to take the leap and try? ... and so on ...

But, that said, I have fabulous friends and a fabulous family who are supportive and loving and knowing they will stand with me on my decisions really helps. I know that you have an amazing family and friendship group too :)

If you do decide to take a creative course - photography, jewellery making, drawing etc, let me know! Maybe we can help each other make our mark on this world! :D

I was in Bundaberg last weekend and the amount of stars I could see was something I really noticed. It made me really appreciate the magnitude of God :)

x Jasmine

Claire Kiefer said...

Awww . . . we all get that way, don't worry. I hate that I compare myself to others, but I do it too. I am 29 and still single, renting, childless, etc . . . so easy to look at all my friends (and even my younger sister who is married and owns a home) and think "I should be there too!" I try to talk myself out of thinking that way, but I think it's human instinct.

Fortunately for you, you have plenty of time to figure it out. And there's nothing like a song to trigger nostalgia and some tears. :)

Hope you feel better/more grounded soon. xoxoxo

julialow said...

Gracie, what a beautiful post. I understand exactly how you feel - because I feel the exact same way. I'm constantly worrying, over-thinking, over-analysing, and over-thinking. It gives me so much stress and anxiety, and last night during my jog I was just letting it out to God. Really, all these negative thoughts and worrying doesn't add a single hour to our life, nor does it make anything better. We just need to put on the courage and hope Jesus has given us and go out there and GO FOR IT. <3

This one verse kept tugging at my heart, and it was this:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

So don't worry, lovely. You are amazing and so talented! And such a beautiful person with a big heart, too! I'm blessed to have known you, and I'm sure all God wants to do is for you to be happy and excel in whatever you put your heart and mind to do. Go for it! xx

Tina said...

it's okay, let it all out. we all have those days. it's life :) this post really opened my eyes though; i realised that i compare myself to others way too much. love the stars, they reminds me of tasmania and cool, fresh air.

i've only watched a bit of masterchef (was so addicted to last season!!) but i'm cutting down on tv time for now.

haha, dw i won't let uni take over my life! it's just that i have 21 hours a week (plus 10 hours travel) because it's a science degree, but i just need to be more motivated.. sometimes it seems like i have nothing to work towards because it's really hard to find a job with what i'm doing.

go for it! do what you want to do. and take that class. i would die to take a pottery class or film class!

Unknown said...

he's so cute!

xoxo from rome

Sandy a la Mode said...

awwwwwww micah is adorable!!! he must be soo much fun!!!

OneCraftyFox said...

OMG, he is so precious!!

Take some classes, girlie! You are so creative, I think you would totally enjoy it :)

heather said...

journaling is so good for the soul, right? i certainly don't do it enough, but was able to get a little done last night! wishing you a lovely weekend!


k said...

i'm sending you a big hug!

Katyha said...

I think we all go through stages like that, but everyone is unique and it is that uniqueness that makes us special. You have such lovely qualities which shine through, remember that!

Wishing you a very special weekend dearest friend :D